Thursday, June 10, 2010

Gay Veteran Mayhem

Around 10PM on Wednesday night, flashing lights appeared at the corner of Franklin and McAllister belonging to a small army of fire engines, ambulances, and police cars. Since we hadn't heard an auto crash, an unfortunately familiar sound at this intersection, the source of all the mayhem was a mystery.

It turned out that the accident was a single car with four passengers which had been navigating itself out of the small, exclusive parking lot behind the Veterans Building.

In a physical maneuver that none of the many bystanders could quite figure out, the driver had accelerated either forward or backwards against a small pole, which elevated the vehicle and somehow flipped it over on its side.

The driver was an 85-year-old veteran who belongs to the American Legion Alexander Hamilton Post 448, which specializes in gays. The group had just finished with a fancy-dress party in the Green Room of the Veterans Building, and the unfortunate driver was being strapped onto a stretcher before being taken to an ambulance.

The most poignantly surreal detail of the scene was a tuxedoed lesbian with a top hat who was crying out plaintively at the side of the stretcher, "Archie! Archie! Are you okay?" as her friend was being taken away. I hope everybody turns out fine.

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